Sunday, September 16, 2012

Tooth Fairies

   So Brooke Lynn lost a tooth today. More specifically I was sick of her leaning over in church showing me a half hanging out bleeding tooth, so I pulled it out today. So tonight as I try and stay awake for no apparent reason (wink,wink) I am left to contemplate about The Tooth Fairy. 

   First you must know the Mason Family Tooth Fairy is an unreliable no good Fairy. If I ever see him or her I would probably fire them. So many mornings sad children have discovered that our Tooth Fairy simply did not report for duty. It has been such a burden on William and myself to comfort them and we are only left to "guess" why our Tooth Fairy was a no show. Guesses have ranged from weather problems; it was windy last night, or too cold for wings to fly, to giving our Tooth Fairy credit for Choosing the Right; it was Sunday, of coarse they would not want to work on a Sunday. But alas I think our sweet innocent children are beginning to think that our Fairy is just lazy and forgetful.

   So I was wondering tonight, since only 2 of our 5 children have even been loosing teeth thus far and we are off to such a pathetic start. Did I say we, my bad... the Tooth Fairy is off to such a pathetic start. Is it possible to renegotiate the terms of the Tooth Fairy? After all the Mason Family Tooth Fairy is already different from the perfect Young Tooth Fairy my family had growing up. My childhood Fairy always picked up our teeth and whisked them away to .... well strangely enough my Dad's desk drawer, but I discovered that later in my childhood and that's another story. But still she took the time to locate the tooth and then haul it off. The Mason Tooth Fairy just shoves money under the pillow. Our kids at first wondered about this, but again William and I were left to "guess" that they may have had a hard time locating the tooth. "After all my dear, your big heavy head was laying on it". Now I am pretty sure ours doesn't even try to find the tooth anymore.

   Not to mention our Tooth Fairy half the time does not even get the money under the pillow. Children sleeping in particularly tall bunk-beds with pillows ridiculously high and out of reach... did I say out of reach? I meant in high atmospheric flying zones, have come to expect the money laying on the ground in the morning.
  
  So I have been wondering tonight, what does the Tooth Fairy have against daytime deliveries? Maybe our poor Fairy is just misunderstood and tired. Would deliveries improve if say they made daytime drop offs while kids were at school? If you could be sneaky enough to come into dark rooms at night full of sleeping babies and manage to not get the dogs to growl at you, or trip over toys... Did I say trip? I meant fly over messy rooms, then surely you can make deliveries in well lit empty bedrooms. Right? 
And don't tell me that it is less magical, cause it does not feel magical to be woken up from your sitting position (never mind why I fell asleep sitting up somewhere while trying to stay awake past when the kids fall asleep) by a sad child because our no good, unreliable Fairy was again a no show.
  
   Wait... I just realized its still Sunday! yippee the Tooth Fairy does not work on Sundays. This tired Fairy... I mean Mom is going to bed.  - Night